Update on "dating styles"

So I wrote it up in word... and tried to copy it here... fail. so I posted it in a comment underneath the last one titled "dating styles" FYI

Dating Styles, No this does not have to do with clothing

So recently I've been thinking about dating and what it really is.

Then it hit me, Dating is all about your dating style, now bare with me here and just be patient as I ramble on.

There are two main dating styles.

There are the "listers" and there are the "all in's"

First off is the "listers"

So the Listers are essentiall what the name says, you have a list. You keep options. You always have options 1 2 or 3, heck maybe even up to 10 lined up or at least in your head. you tend to cycle through them. If option one does not work out they are tossed from the list and 2 moves up to one and so on.

This is more common than people would like to admit. Heck I'll admit it. I've found myself using this methodology more than once. Especially before my mission. I ALWAYS used the A B C model. Don't hate me now. but I did do that and sometimes I still find myself doing that.

This really is kinda a dumb way, because as dating goes there are two tiers of the people you want to date.

1. The people you want to really date, those who you think are the most attractive, the funnest, the smartest and those with which you feel you will have a GREAT time.

2. The people you like, they are fun and cute and you think you'd have a good time, but maybe not a great time like you feel with tier 1.

so thats one big problem with the "listers" kind of dating. You always have those you REALLY want to go out with and then those who you kinda want to go out with. Which can just lead you to dating someone who you REALLY wouldn't have dated but they are cool and they were kinda in that 2nd tier and they finally came around to be number 1 on your list.

You can deny it but seriously thats how it works 90% of the time for the "listers"

Its all just a way to protect yourself as the dater, this way you are set up to NEVER fail. when option 1 who you really like or maybe even loved fails you can always fall back on 2 or 3 or 4 etc. you are SAFE. and in dating, thats what we want, safety.

I can't fault Listers, like I said Ive been there, I'm probably still there sometimes, why? its safe.

In dating we want love and happiness. Still in there we want an assurance of safety, No one wants to get their heart broken, by having a proverbial list. We assure ourselves that we won't get hurt because then we will just be able to fall back on option 2 or 3 or 4 etc....

Now for the "all in's"

All in ussually is found in Poker. This happens when a poker player thinks he has a good hand and so he calls "all in" and puts all his chips on the table. If his hand doesn't win he loses EVERYTHING. He has to leave the game and he is done.

Now obviously you can see how this compares to dating. if you are an "all in" you put all your chips on the table because you think you have a good hand. You see that person you like and you believe you have a decent chance of winning(dating) them and so you go ALL in. you have no other options at the time. you are dedicated to winning that one person over.

EXCELLENT for you IF you win(date). bad for you if you don't. you are set up for a crushing blow to the heart of self esteem. there is no fall back plan now. its simply that you have to wait and pick up the pieces and get enough chips(guts) to be able to play with the big boys again as you see it.

You can argue and say you don't fall in to one of these classes but I am almost 100% certain you are in one of these categories. This is just how dating is.

The end goal of course is to be happy. to be safe.

I'd love to be an "all in" guy all the time, but thats scary to be honest. the List gives you safety. sadly if you are a "lister" you are going to have some people on your list that are "all ins" and while you are being "safe" and protecting yourself, you are taking all the chips from those "all ins" on your list.

Texting and dating

So i've been thinking lately, and surely being in class is not the best time to be blogging but this has been on my mind so I figure now is better than never, besides I wasn't really paying attention anyways :)

Soooo texting and dating.

it seems to me that I've gotten all turned around with dating and texting, somewhere along the line I got this thought in my head that since I date a girl I MUST text her every day. I will admit I have dated girls where I texted them probably once every hour! it was like an obsession. an addiction! We texted all the time!

To be Honest I find this kind of annoying at this point. I realize that if you text every day, when you actually get to see each other, what do you have to talk about? you've been texting ALL DAY LONG. worthless to stay in contact with each other so often if you plan on actually seeing each other! I mean the idea is that if you are going to see each other why do you need to text, besides to get plans together.

Now with this being said I am NOT against texting, I love to hear from the girl I'm dating obviously so I'm open to text, if we can't see each other for awhile. hey I am okay with it, text, ussually I find my text conversations turning into random conversations that make me laugh, see that is fine even if you are going to see each other. You won't exactly talk about your daily life but it could help you have a better day.

Now where texting bugs me is if you are going to see each other that night, I don't want to hear about how your day was in a text a 4pm. heck I'll see you in 3 or 4 hours! save it, we'll talk then, at least call me. If you want to complain text me please. I want to help. but if you are sending 30-50 texts a day and talkinga bout all these problems that have happened, just when you are going to see each other that night. save your texts!

Its somewhat interesting but I have found that when I am dating a girl, my text usage goes WAY down. I admit I am a texter, I like it. I send maybe 30-100 texts a day. yeah PER DAY. I am a sucker for it. generally I get into conversations with friends that last maybe 10-20 texts. crazy but it happens. However when I am dating I find that I don't text near as much. I find when I am dating I send maybe 30-40 daily. MAX interesting now huh, even considering that my regular texts are NOT all to girls, but to other guys also. Yet still when I date my text usage goes way down. I've had days where Ive send maybe 5 texts. (although I've also had days where I'm not dating anyone and still send maybe 5 texts that day).

So in the end, I like to get with the girl I am dating at the end of the day and see how she is, how her day went. I like to see her mannerisms, her reactions, her smile, and her sadness. You don't get that over text. you just don't.

Text has its place, but please when you are dating, put text in its right place!

Faith

Faith is very important. Faith is acting on something without knowing. Faith is the trust in something that we just don't know.

I don't know alot of things. however I realize that it's by faith that I've been guided and driven my whole life, and why I would ever try to live my life without applying it's lessons seems crazy to me. Faith is the driving force behind everything in life. You don't know what's coming in your job, yet you have faith that it will go well.
You don't know what's coming in school, yet you have faith and push ahead.

For everyone that says they don't understand faith, just think of every day life. You have faith that your car will work you ahve faith that the sun will rise. you have faith that you'll get paid for the work you do.

I realize that faith needs to be applied in everyt situation of life.. it's just that important

Dating

This weekend I got to talk alot about dating, and think about it alot. what it really is

when it comes down to it dating all just games and politics. you play games with the girl so that she begins to like you, but if you're not ready to commit you also play games with other girls so that you have "options" because you aren't sure of what you want.

Now alot of times these games turn into worse things and people get hurt. you get led on. that bites. but isnt that part of life? dont you have to put yourself out there to get a reward.

Dating is like business. you have low risk and low return investments, but ussually to make the big money you have to take a huge risk, that could yeild huge returns.
Thats just like dating, if you want a high return, IE the girl you want, you have to take the huge risk. the only hard thing is that sometimes that huge risk doesn't pay off and you're left farther behind then you were before the risk.

However, isn''t that life?