Dating Styles, No this does not have to do with clothing

So recently I've been thinking about dating and what it really is.

Then it hit me, Dating is all about your dating style, now bare with me here and just be patient as I ramble on.

There are two main dating styles.

There are the "listers" and there are the "all in's"

First off is the "listers"

So the Listers are essentiall what the name says, you have a list. You keep options. You always have options 1 2 or 3, heck maybe even up to 10 lined up or at least in your head. you tend to cycle through them. If option one does not work out they are tossed from the list and 2 moves up to one and so on.

This is more common than people would like to admit. Heck I'll admit it. I've found myself using this methodology more than once. Especially before my mission. I ALWAYS used the A B C model. Don't hate me now. but I did do that and sometimes I still find myself doing that.

This really is kinda a dumb way, because as dating goes there are two tiers of the people you want to date.

1. The people you want to really date, those who you think are the most attractive, the funnest, the smartest and those with which you feel you will have a GREAT time.

2. The people you like, they are fun and cute and you think you'd have a good time, but maybe not a great time like you feel with tier 1.

so thats one big problem with the "listers" kind of dating. You always have those you REALLY want to go out with and then those who you kinda want to go out with. Which can just lead you to dating someone who you REALLY wouldn't have dated but they are cool and they were kinda in that 2nd tier and they finally came around to be number 1 on your list.

You can deny it but seriously thats how it works 90% of the time for the "listers"

Its all just a way to protect yourself as the dater, this way you are set up to NEVER fail. when option 1 who you really like or maybe even loved fails you can always fall back on 2 or 3 or 4 etc. you are SAFE. and in dating, thats what we want, safety.

I can't fault Listers, like I said Ive been there, I'm probably still there sometimes, why? its safe.

In dating we want love and happiness. Still in there we want an assurance of safety, No one wants to get their heart broken, by having a proverbial list. We assure ourselves that we won't get hurt because then we will just be able to fall back on option 2 or 3 or 4 etc....

Now for the "all in's"

All in ussually is found in Poker. This happens when a poker player thinks he has a good hand and so he calls "all in" and puts all his chips on the table. If his hand doesn't win he loses EVERYTHING. He has to leave the game and he is done.

Now obviously you can see how this compares to dating. if you are an "all in" you put all your chips on the table because you think you have a good hand. You see that person you like and you believe you have a decent chance of winning(dating) them and so you go ALL in. you have no other options at the time. you are dedicated to winning that one person over.

EXCELLENT for you IF you win(date). bad for you if you don't. you are set up for a crushing blow to the heart of self esteem. there is no fall back plan now. its simply that you have to wait and pick up the pieces and get enough chips(guts) to be able to play with the big boys again as you see it.

You can argue and say you don't fall in to one of these classes but I am almost 100% certain you are in one of these categories. This is just how dating is.

The end goal of course is to be happy. to be safe.

I'd love to be an "all in" guy all the time, but thats scary to be honest. the List gives you safety. sadly if you are a "lister" you are going to have some people on your list that are "all ins" and while you are being "safe" and protecting yourself, you are taking all the chips from those "all ins" on your list.